My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
pizza spelt its own name wrong
“but why are french people so rude!!" you ask
it’s because our national symbol is a cock
so we can’t help being dicks
this is my post with the most notes and it’s a dick joke
Remember the time Squidward thought Sponge Bob was coming out.
I NEVER UNDERSTOOD THIS as a child and oh my god
Life gave this dog lemons and this dog was like “HAHAHA TRY AGAIN NEXT TIME!”
Fuck, here’s some inspiration.
I think we’ve officially reached that annoying time in the year where it’s sweater weather in the morning, but by midday, if you wear a sweater, you die from heatstroke.
when youre at a concert does it suddenly hit you at random moments that the band are real people and not just pictures on the internet
(◡‿◡✿) Slow sensual deep meaningful kisses
(◡‿◡✿) Lustful hands sliding down bodies with little tiny gasps of pleasure
(◡‿◡✿) Tugging on their hair gently only to move the kisses to their neck
(◡‿◡✿) Jawline kisses slowly moving back to their lips
(◕‿◕✿) Muffled kissing while getting the shit fucked out of them